Sweater harvest.

Two days in a row! I'm on a roll. Today I'm all about DIY inspiration and Goodwilling. First, the most important part....MY NEW SWEATERS!!!

I got the three of them at Goodwill for four dollars each, which kind of felt like robbery, mainly because I'm incredibly cheap, and the two last times that I purchased sweaters they were: free for as many I could fit into a bag and the time after that I only spent 50 cents each at my friend's garage sale (she tried to give them to me for free, but I refused to let her). Online, on Ebay and Etsy and all of those types of sites, the cheapest sweaters that I could find were 14 dollars each, and at least I did much much much better than THAT. There was also another sweater at Goodwill that I fell in love with, because it was obviously hand-knitted, but my mom pointed out that I would have had to wash it by hand, and it probably wouldn't have lasted as long. Still, I will pine for it.
The one with the floral pattern on it is undoubtedly my favorite, and it's the only one of the three that I have to pull over my head. 5 seconds after this picture was taken, I was wearing it. 
Now, I must bring up a topic that has been pissing me off for a long while. That is, sites that take vintage items and recreate them and sell them for exorbitant amounts of money compared to what you would pay for the real thing.
For example: Modcloth. One of my absolute favorite websites ever, it is also a huge offender.

This is a set of potholders that sells for 28 dollars. At both of the little antique shops around the corner from me, you can get ACTUAL vintage potholders for a couple bucks each. The prices generally range from 1.50 to 3 dollars each. In this set, you only get three potholders (the polka dot thing is only the packaging they come in) for 9.33 each. It's absolutely ridiculous, not to mention wasteful! Why purchase something new, then there's something pre-used that is in just as good condition? And if you're worried that the real deal wouldn't be as cute, there's one vintage potholder that's knitted to look like a clock that I always have to talk myself out of buying, because it's so Alice in Wonderland chic!

This canister/jar sells for 22 dollars, also on Modcloth. For 4 dollars to 6 dollars (depending on size) you can get a just as good, just as cute one. I collect mushroom jars, and have 15 pieces of it so far, and ALL of them have been purchased at Goodwill for reasonable prices. The same goes for cutesy vintage teacups and saucers--I just found a sale at World Mission Thrift the other week where matching teacups and saucers were going for just 1.50 a pop. Buying things in sets also keeps costs down, if you're looking into tea sets and the like.
There are also blankets on Urban Outfitters (that I couldn't retrieve a picture of, due to the website's sneakiness and usage of the zoom tool) that are knitted to look like vintage blankets and are on sale for 20 dollars (originally 49...can you believe that??). If you don't believe me, you can see them on the other end of this link: http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=23512544&parentid=SALE_APT
  We have two similar ones that we got at Goodwill for 4 dollars each, and I bet you that they'll last longer.
Another thing that I've noticed is that there is a huge surplus of vintage tupperware clogging up the shelves at Goodwill. There is no reason why you have to go out and buy new things of tupperware from stores. The vintage stuff is just as good! Trust me! My mom still uses some of the tupperware that she got when her mom passed and it's great! Airtight just like the newer stuff! If you're really worried about buying used containers, you could just bleach them before you use them, to give you the extra security that there are no remnants of germs on them.
So don't waste your money buying look-alikes!! Buy the real thing! If it's lasted these many years,  you can bet that it's going to hold up just as well for you!

Midnight listening and my own little secrets.

It's one in the morning here, and I'm sitting in the dark with Peter, Paul and Mary singing happily in the background about magical dragons and giving life to one of the old patriotic songs that I used to be forced to sing in school. Sipping from a can of off-brand cola that sells for 33 cents around here, I note that it has a faint, chemical undertaste, and I gingerly put it down. (I also notice that I switched tenses between those two sentences, but I like it, so HA.)
For the past couple of months, I've been developing a new interest, and have been keeping it under wraps, for reasons that will be very obvious once I tell you what it is. A few of my friends know about it, but I haven't shown them any of it that I have stored on my computer. Here it goes, I'll try to explain the best I can..
For the past couple months, I've been very interested in vintage erotica. It all started when a friend of mine bought a book of old photographs from the early 20th century. They were all by some photographer that she claimed to have heard of, but I really don't think she had. I fell in love with vintage photography and through many internet searches ended up falling in love with vintage erotica.
Oh dear. Peter, Paul and Mary have stopped singing. One minute, I've got to go turn the record over.
Erotica is more of an art form than just plain pornography. I mean, sure, there is porn to some of it, but there is also a great deal more of it that is poignant, sweet, witty, or even occasionally humorous. There's nothing wrong with vintage erotica! (Although, you can probably imagine why I don't go around telling everyone I meet.) My favorite decade of erotica is the 1920s. I love the hairstyles, the lingerie they wear, the cheeky grins of the flapper girls.
Here are some of my favorite (and appropriate) erotica pictures.

Just doing makeup.

This one is my profile photo on various websites. I just love the bored, unimpressed look on her face. 

Just a sweet, smiling girl lounging on her bed in her lingerie. 

This picture always captivates me. I love the way she looks skyward, with a sense of urgency. 

Just lounging with her cigarette. 

A soft kiss goodnight. 

Sketching. 

 Believe it or not, this was actually considered to be lesbian pornography way back in the day. Not hardcore, definitely of a milder sort, but still. I, personally, don't read anything sexual about this picture at all. 

This one is absolutely my favorite. I just found it today and was completely in love as soon as I saw it. 

This woman reminds me of a circus performer or something. Maybe she is one. :)

This is another of my favorites. The contrast between the two is so completely entrancing. The one who is proudly displaying her sexuality is so obviously in control, and the other, the one in the robe is looking at her with a glance of...jealousy? Is she impressed? Does she feel self conscious? 

 And last but not least...this one. This is another one that I love because of the look on her face. She looks so wistful, like she's daydreaming of something or someone very far away.

There were a few of my absolute favorites that I did not feel comfortable posting, due to the nudity in them.

If these pictures have inspired you to be interested in vintage erotica at all, check out wickedknickers.tumblr.com. I would say that the mix is about half and half, artistic erotica and pornographic, but if you sort through it, you can find some that are really visually gorgeous. Sifting through pages of archives, I came across one stunning picture of a nude woman standing on the trail of a comet, with her hair turning into stars.
The oddest part of these pictures is that they've gotten me to thinking about my future. Not that I think I'm going to end up as a nude model or anything, that's not it. Especially with the recent departure of a good friend of mine, who went to chase her dreams an entire state away, the future has been on my mind. Where in the world is there a place for someone like me? I'm sure that's a question that everyone asks themselves at one point or another in their lives, but it's really starting to eat me up. How do I know what dreams I should pursue? What state should I move to? Do I really want to be a fashion designer? Should I have cast aside my other artistic interests like I did? What if I pursued painting, began practicing at it again, became better at it, where would it lead me? What if I picked up a camera and became a photographer?
And the biggest question of all...how long can I contain my wanderlust? How long will I be here, sitting in Michigan, damn near miserable, typing away on this computer about the life I wish I had? I know I've told people that I'm living at home for two years, getting my Associate's Degree before I transfer to a big university, but I hate being here so much. I hate the relationship I have with my mother. I hate that I don't see my friends anymore. I hate all the secrets I keep from people. I hate being couped up in this house for 18 hours in a day. I hate the fact that Spell Check says I spelled "couped" wrong. I HATE BEING DRAGGED TO FOOTBALL GAMES AND OPERA CONCERTS AND GOD KNOWS WHAT ELSE.
I just wish that I could go somewhere different, where people actually care about what I want to do, and listen to me when I talk. I wish I could go somewhere where I could cry when I'm sad and not be made fun of. I wish I could be "Leaving on a Jetplane" with Peter, Paul and Mary.
Whoa. It feels good to finally get all of that off of my chest. It's been bottling up inside of me for quite a long time. Now, how does that relate to these pictures? Well, in these pictures, I just see pieces of these women. I feel like I get a story from these pictures, even the ones that are as simple as a woman bending over to fix her stocking. What's my story then? I don't even know if the part of it that's worth telling has started to happen yet. But that's what's so good about the early years of life, isn't it? They're all about discovery and filling diaries with story.
Anyway, that's all for tonight. I have to get some sleep or I'll be completely dead tomorrow. Here's one last piece of vintage erotica for the road. This one is from the 60s.

I don't know what she's crying over, but I feel like I could relate. 

Billy Joel and a house full of noise.

I went on a record buying binge today. There's a little antique shop in my town where they're only a dollar each. Actually, I correct myself--there are TWO little antique shops in my town where records are only a dollar each. I ended up picking out six of them: Billy Joel's "Piano Man"; Elton John's Greatest Hits Volume II, The Pretenders' "Get Close"; Peter, Paul, and Mary's "Moving"; the BeeGees' "Trafalgar"; and John Denver's "I Want To Live". I know those semicolons look weird, but I looked it up, that's how the list is grammatically correct. Blame Peter, Paul, and Mary for screwing up my commas! (I'm only joking, of course).
At the moment, I am listening to Billy Joel on what is nearly full volume for my record player. You know what's ironic? People talk about wanting to move to small towns because they're quieter. I disagree, I think they're sometimes louder than big cities. In big cities like New York, all the noise blends as one and almost turns into background noise. In small towns, you can freaking hear everything. Every dog, every crying baby, every construction project, every passing car. I can tell you for certain that almost every night, like clockwork, I get woken up around 3 in the morning by a crowd of drunks that live one street over from me.
I'm not going to lie, there are many aspects of small town life that I absolutely love. Anywhere you live, there are going to be problems and little things you have to overlook.
Right now, I am using Billy Joel in an attempt to drown out my neighbor, Captain Hammer, and his construction project, as well as the 4 screaming children across the street from me that are apparently killing each other. To compete with those two, I also have a deaf dog, who is whining at the top of his breath for my mom's food, right outside my door. I don't usually complain this much about noise, but for some reason, tonight it's just driving me up the wall.
For DIY work, I've been doing a lot of dyeing lately. I'm really working on this shirt that I'm trying to do a galaxy design on, and I'm not sure how it's going to turn out, but hopefully well.
To end this post, I'm going to add a picture of Nigel, who is cuddling with me right now. He wants me to finish blogging so that I'll let him come on my lap and nuzzle me.

It's an old one that I took when I was borrowing the newspaper camera a few months ago, but I promise, he's still just as adorable. <3

My post office is going to hate me

So, today I'm in Payless, the shoe store, right? This girl charges into the store, walks headfirst into a shelf, and then turns to me and snottily remarks, "EXCUSE you." I'm really starting to lose faith in my generation. You have no idea.
It was my first trip to the mall in months, today, and I forgot how much I love that place. The hustle and bustle, being able to stare at many different articles of clothing that I wish I could buy but have the restraint not to. It was an odd trip today, mainly for one reason. You see, for the past two days, I've only been able to hear out of one ear.
It's not as though I can really hear anything out of the other. There's just nothing. I woke up yesterday and was like this. I have no idea really why. My mom went to the store and got me a special type of ear drops, so we'll see if it does the trick. I'm supposed to put in ten drops, once a day, for four days. At the end of day one, I must say, there's absolutely no difference. It's kind of starting to worry me, not because of my loss of hearing (I'm sure wearing a hearing aid wouldn't bother me much) but because I have to WORK tomorrow, and they already think I'm an absolute moron, and if I show up as a half-deaf, absolute moron......well, let's just say I'm absolutely dreading it. Oh, and the "they" who think that I'm a moron...pretty much just my manager. Every one else that I work with is absolutely amazing. And I'm not just saying that or anything, I seriously mean it.
So, what did I get today at the mall...well, I would include pictures, but sadly my camera has no batteries, so those will have to wait. I can, however, tell you. From Hot Topic I got a scarf and a pair of Mockingjay earrings. From Barnes and Noble I got a copy of J. M. Barrie's Peter Pan. From Claire's I got a set of animal rings that I'm going to distribute amongst  my friends (due to the fact that 2 of the 4 of us are leaving for college this weekend). I spent a Victoria's Secret gift card (but for what items will be MY secret). That's pretty much it. I went into Charlotte Russe and Forever 21, but was put off by the difference in prices. The first time I ever went to Charlotte Russe, I got a gorgeous dress for 10 dollars. Today, I went in and the dresses that were on sale were 20 dollars at the cheapest. Life has gotten so ridiculous.
Now, the title for this post. Why does my post office hate me? Well, my lovelies, due to my recent Ebay addiction and according to the USPS website, I have 12 packages, without my box number on them, waiting  for me there. They get a bit rude when I have single packages without my box number, so they're probably going to be waiting for me tomorrow with a crossbow and a freshly sharpened spear. I'm so sorry, Post Office Ladies, I thought I'd added my box number into my Ebay address, I swear....but it turned out I hadn't.
Anyway, I can offer you pictures of my Ebay purchases, so enjoy. Oh, and 9 of those items are part of a lot, which is why they're all in the picture together...all of these pictures were taken from Ebay.









Once again Post Office ladies, I'm really sorry! I'm never going to forget my box number again...

You only care when the world can see--playlist

Another fight with my mom, but how I extracted the apology was the part that I found really really pathetic. I posted an angry Facebook status, about how I felt like giving up. In a flurry, she's suddenly sorry, and then asks me take it down, in her "sweetest" tones.
So, you may ask, what was our fight about? Well, I knew she was having a busy day today, so I cleaned the living room and kitchen up for her, ground her coffee, got her paycheck, did the chores she usually does when she comes home. And while I do this, I make and eat a frozen pizza. My mom is a vegan, claims that eating dairy makes her dreadfully ill, and also says that frozen pizza is the anorexic version of good pizza.
But when she got home, all she cared about was that damn pizza. She wouldn't have eaten it anyway, I can tell you that as a matter of fact.
In a rush of anger, I became (once again) the unfeeling, selfish, bitch of a daughter that she paints me as whenever anything doesn't go her way. Whenever anything makes her mad, she just lets loose her anger on me.
You know what this calls for? Another playlist of happy music.
I mean, I'm okay, but obviously my ears are smarting and need some ear candy to make them feel better.

1. "Lover's Concerto" The Lennon Sisters (cover, I think)

2. "White Rabbit" Jefferson Airplane

3. "Leaving on a Jet Plane"  Peter, Paul, and Mary

4. "Just Like Starting Over" John Lennon

5. "Woman" John Lennon

6. "Watching the Wheels" John Lennon

7. "Love Fool" The Cardigans

8. "Somebody to Love" Jefferson Airplane

Most of those are from the records that I've been listening to in the past few days. I'm pretty sure Leaving on A Jet Plane is a John Denver cover, but I wasn't entirely sure.

Yes, yes, YES!

So....I ordered a record player off of Amazon earlier this week, and it was supposed to come next Monday or so, but it came today!!

Isn't it beautiful? It has great sound, especially considering that I got it for a mere 50 dollars, which is on the cheaper side for a record player. In this picture, I believe I was listening to The Worst of Jefferson Airplane. White Rabbit is one of my favorite songs of all time. 

I've been listening to records all day long. And then I let it slip to my mom that I had seen a copy of The Singing Nun's one and only album at the little shop in town where I had gotten all of my records, she immediately drove me over there, in my pajamas, to go and buy it. Not only did I buy her The Singing Nun, but I also got her a Lawrence Whelk album, a Donny Osmond, and a Norma Zimmer. And I refused to take her money for them. Records are one of the few things that my mom and I can really connect over. I'm not going to spoil that by taking her money for something I picked out for her specially. 

Oh, and if you ever get a chance, look up The Singing Nun. Dominique is her most famous song, but it's not really that great. She has a lot of really pretty guitar ballads, and they're all sung in French, so the language just flows over the chords she plucks from her guitar, Adele. Don't underestimate her just because she wore a funny hat!

Vintage items repurposed for jewelry storage

I've been browsing the web again, searching for DIY ideas. I found two of these on Tumblr and came up with the other two myself, simply from staring at my computer screen too much. 

 Go to your local antique store. I know for a fact that The Curiosity Shoppe, which lies a mere mile or so away from me, has an entire basket full of old cheese graters that they're selling for 5 dollars each. If that's too steep for you (or if you don't live near me) then just pop into your local thrift store's housewares section.

 This next one is one of the ones I came up with myself. I've been staring at my own vintage birdcage (not the one pictured here) for some time now, and finally it popped into my head to hook my necklaces and bracelets in the top tiers. (I'll take pictures when I do this, so that you know what I'm talking about). Picture from Shabby Chic and Antique Boutique on Etsy (which does not affiliate itself with this blog at all, I just thought this birdcage was really pretty).

 Another Tumblr idea. Buy a vintage teacup and saucer. I found two teacup and saucer sets for three dollars at my local World Mission thrift store this past weekend. They're quite easy to come by, and you don't even need a cup and saucer that match. Superglue the two together if you want the security of knowing your teacup won't move around if you put rings in it too zealously. Put it beside your bed for all the jewelry you take off before you go to bed at night.

Last idea. A fancy candlestick like this one (which I do not own, but I really want), and hang your bracelets and necklaces from it. on the spots for the candles, you can put a ring or two, or maybe perch a pin there while you're getting ready for your day.

Thanks for reading! Hope you try some of these out yourself!

Tentative bliss and melancholy smiles

Hello again. Just had my graduation party a few days ago, and it went splendidly. Only a few (7 or 8) of my friends showed up, but almost my entire family came. Aunts, uncles, cousins, they all streamed in through the doors like a rush of utter joy. It was so good to see them all. The only ones that were absent were my Uncle Denny and Aunt Judy, who were gone due to illness, and a handful of relatives couldn't find the money to come in from Montana. 

I keep thinking that I'm doing well and have qualified for job security, but apparently I haven't. I keep getting told that they're extending my trial period another week, and another week, and another week. I'd like to simply be HIRED already. I mean, I am thankful that I'm earning money and the like, but I'm sick of feeling weepy and terrified, like every tiny mistake is going to get me fired. They said again, that this week might be my last week working for them. I've improved my speed, gotten more aware of how much flour I have on myself (and brushed it off accordingly), and it turns out that the only real problem they have with me now is my fear. I'm too nervous, and they feel as though it spreads from me to the customers. It doesn't help my nerves that they only scheduled me for two days this week, as opposed to the usual five. It feels like a death sentence in itself. I don't want to work anywhere else. I love the shop. I love the way it smells, I love the feel of the dough, and I love my coworkers. But I'm sick of feeling like trying my hardest isn't getting me anywhere. I wish that they would shake my hand and be like, "Congratulations, we like you, we want you to work here on a permanent basis!" but that keeps feeling like more and more of some faraway dream that I have no hope of attaining. I'm just not good enough for them, so I have to change and become good enough. I have one more shift before I find out their verdict. I don't know if I can change in that little of time. 

My constant stress manifests itself in something that is becoming a very, very bad habit. I've been out shopping almost every day. I bought records the first day, vintage jewelry and sewing fabric the next, vintage sewing notions today, and these aren't counting the purchases I've made online. Two pairs of shorts, one dress, one shirt, one skirt, and a turntable (hey, you can't have records without a turntable, can you?). Luckily, I'm exceedingly cheap, so these purchases have been from sale racks and the like, but still, I know it's really not healthy. 

(photo courtesy of Tumblr)

Walking around, I keep feeling like I'm just floating through a dream. I seldom feel my feet touch the ground anymore. It's like I'm living someone else's life, spending someone else's money, with someone else's friends, and wearing someone else's clothes. I don't really own any of this anymore. I just keep daydreaming of Chicago, Norfolk, Seattle, San Francisco, New York, London, anywhere but here. I mean, in a city of thousands and thousands of people, my soul could be hiding there somewhere, right? 

Don't worry about me, seriously. I just need college to start. Without human to human contact, I fall into disrepair and become hazy and cryptic. I don't think I would still be me if I wasn't completely confused about who I am. All that good stuff, ya know. 

Mismatched socks and tin cans. `

A sluggish Saturday, today is. I've spent two hours of it watching Gidget and The Flying Nun on Antenna Tv.  I'm a sucker for vintage TV shows, and those are the two that I watch every Saturday, come Olympics or high water. When I don't work, I also watch The Monkees and The Partridge Family, but it's been a few weeks since I've been able to watch either of them. I've almost forgotten what Danny Bonaduce looks like.
My graduation party is tomorrow, and I'm completely behind on it. I was supposed to make all of the centerpieces myself out of tin cans and twigs, but I kind of forgot (whoops). Now I have a bedroom full of various sized cans. I'll figure out what to do with them when I get home from work tonight.
Now, my friends have been on me for a while, because I can't keep my room clean. I know this is an odd thing for 18 year old girls to obsess about, but I really do have a major problem with order. That being: I despise it. A month ago all of my things were organized in boxes in my linen closet (which is in my room). However, when everything was like this, I couldn't find anything, or it was near the back and I couldn't get to it easily. And to top that off, every time I finished with something, I had to fit it back into the closet perfectly, otherwise it wouldn't all fit. It drove me absolutely crazy! Needless to say, it hasn't lasted long.
The only thing that really bothers me is that none of my socks match. I like matching socks. It's just this thing I have. I wear mismatched socks, but I can't stand looking into my cedar chest and seeing them not paired together. It drives me almost crazier than a clean room!
Sadly, the thing about having my room the way I like it is that I can never find matches for my socks when it comes time to do laundry. I have a laundry basket and a bag in my closet full of mismatched socks, because I simply refuse to put them away without matches. Before you ask, yes I do see that I'm fighting a losing battle with this one. I have to either clean and reorganize my room or let the socks run rampant. Maybe they'll even form their own government. There would be a sock president and a sock Congress, and they could make their own laws and everything. Maybe they would even find their own matches and put themselves away. My problem would simply solve itself!
Yeah, I've definitely gone a bit loopy.

The I-Hate-Confusing-Websites-That-Make-Me-Cry Playlist

Yeah. So today I was signing up for my first year of classes at the community college I'm taking my first year or so at, and the website was so confusing and impossible to navigate. I finally figured it out after an hour and a half of cursing under my breath and tapping my keyboard way too hard, but then, it just decided to stop working, so I couldn't pay my tuition online. I was so frustrated and tired, I went into my bathroom and cried. I'm usually really good at figuring out websites and such, this one was just laid out by Satan.
Anyways, here are the songs I'm listening to tonight:

1. "Randy Scouse Git" The Monkees

2. "Polish Girl" Neon Indian

3. "The Girl that I Knew Somewhere" The Monkees

4. "Cuddly Toy" The Monkees

5. "Whistle for the Choir" The Fratellis

6. "Lollypop" MIKA

7. "Does Your Mother Know" ABBA

8. "Judy's Turn to Cry" Lesley Gore

9. "Bones" The Editors

10. "Rain" MIKA

Mostly old music and a little bit of pop. For me, these are pick-me-up songs. My brother says that we're going down to the college tomorrow, and that we'll figure something out. Because my tuition is due by midnight, I figure I'll drop my extra classes around 11:30 tonight and re-add them around 1 am or so.