Monday, June 11, 2012

I'm beginning to think this disease is incurable.

Depressed tonight. Shocking, isn't it? It's just friend stuff again. I hate feeling as though I have to fight just to be loved, and I know they would die if I ever told them I felt that way. But it never goes away. I have deep set abandonment issues. And trust issues. And no-one-will-ever-truly-love-me issues. It makes me be unfair to people.
As sad as I am right now, I'm consoling myself with the knowledge that I had a lovely day today and am leaving for Disney the day after tomorrow, so things can't really be as bad as they seem.
But as bright as the future appears, I know that my depression isn't going anywhere. It will lurk, forever at the corners of my eyes, trying to tint everything I see. Guess I need a pair of rose-tinted glasses to banish those clouds away.
Today I went to Goodwill to do some last minute vacation shopping. All I wanted was a pair of sandals. I ended up coming home with lingerie (which I am NOT picturing),
 a faux leather bag (the brand is Relic) with a design engraved onto it,
 a fairy documentary (directed by John Walker),
 and a fairy sticker book.
 My friends thought that the blackberry fairy reminded them of me the most. I guess I can see it, but I don't think that I sleep that much.
Inside the fairy sticker book are four landscapes, one for each of the four seasons. This is the landscape for Spring.
I know you're probably wondering, what happened to upset me so. If it was my right to tell you, I would. But as it's not my story to tell, and I'm not one to gossip, I'm just going to let you ponder. Make up a story in your head. It's probably a lot better than the real one.

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