Mushrooms.

There is no other title for this day. That is the only thing that remains specific about it. My mother has officially passed the mushroom jar collection on to me! I'm so happy, you don't even know! I already had one mushroom candle holder, a mushroom vase, and a mushroom napkin holder, as well as one mushroom jar, and this just made my day! Maybe even my week!

Aren't they beautiful? Now all I need is an endless supply of money and Etsy access to complete the collection! If I can have anything next...I want a mushroom teapot. I think it would be amazing. 

To all those who wonder how the mushroom obsession started, well, it began with Alice in Wonderland. I somehow became obsessed with Alice in Wonderland fan art, and a lot of it had mushrooms in it. And from there, the obsession boiled down to just...MUSHROOMS! 

I felt the need to add in a serious picture as well. :)

Tonight we dance.

How apt a title, even though senior prom is tomorrow. My friends are all freaking out and having their own dramas surrounding it, whilst I am just...not. I'm just not. I mean, in theory it sounds like fun, but I'm not really a dance person, and I never really have been. I keep getting images in my head  of myself dancing with the creepy stalkers that have crushes on me (there are a lot of them...and I'm not just being one of those heartless bitches who disses all the guys that crush on her, I've literally been STALKED by scary men who like me to the point where I've feared for my safety). I forced my friend Watson (whom I've known since 7th grade...he's such a nice guy) to promise to save a slow dance for me. 

But I've started a new writing endeavor, attempting to write poetry again. However, I am not going to write sad, self-pitying poetry like before. I am only going to right poems about the beauty of nature and the like. I needed the wisdom of Sir Philip Sidney to tell me what to do. I needed his muse to tell my muse to tell me to look in my heart, and write. 

This is a picture from one of my old lit books...I have one from the 40s that I rescued from the garbage, and another from the 90s that one of my teachers gave to me. I'm not sure which one this is from, but I know it's a quote from Astrophel and Stella, just as the Sonnet below it is. 

I love vintage poetry. Nothing--and I mean NOTHING--makes me happier. 

I feel so...

Brand new! Brand new-ooo-ooo....gonna let these grey clouds fade away....
Oh yes. I'm feeling pretty good. I've found a new guy to bask my affections onto. I don't know him very well yet...but we have a mutual friend who talks about him all the time, so I FEEL like I know him. All of our interactions so far have been excruciatingly awkward on my part...mainly because I haven't actually had to flirt with a guy for almost a year (my ex and I didn't have a romantic relationship at all), but he's sweet. I'm excited to see where this goes, if it ends in a friendship or more.
Either way, I've been walking on sunshine for the past three days. Wish me luck. :)
 
I feel as brand new as a little kitten. :)
Someday, I might share this post with him. Or else I might delete it in shame, blush furiously, and say "What post?"

It's times like these...

Times like these. My brother had a friend named Tyler who was killed last night in a hit-and-run. He was found in a ditch. He was 21 years old. I did not know this man personally, but that doesn't mean I am unmoved.
Our lives are like flames of candles. With the smallest breeze, they can be snuffed out. Our time on Earth is so precious, and the idea of wasting it is so blasphemous. So today, as you argue with your lover, mother, sister, or brother about petty things that won't matter tomorrow, just remember: you never know how much time you're going to get.

Songs to Run Away to

These are the songs that make me want to throw myself out of the nearest window, hotwire the nearest car, and drive until the gas runs out. Some of them might seem a bit unrelated to the topic of running away, but just remember, my mind works in mysterious ways.
If you know all of these songs, kudos. If you like all of them, then that's even better. :)

1. "Last Chance Blueprint" Rise Against

2. "Weighty Ghost" Wintersleep

3. "Pocketful of Sunshine" Natasha Bedingfield

4. "Just Like a Pill" P!nk

5. "Wild Country" Wake! Owl

6. "Good to Be" Backyard Tire Fire

7. "Down By the Water" The Decemberists

8. "Frozen Hearts" Smoke Fairies

9. "Where is My Mind?" The Pixies

10. "The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot" Brand New

11. "Shake Me Down" Cage the Elephant

12. "Summerland" Everclear

13. "Santa Monica" Everclear

Last Chance Blueprint.

I have chosen to title this post after a song by Rise Against. It's about a man, who wants to run away right now, tonight. He wants to take his lover with him, but he knows that if he doesn't leave right now, tonight, that he never will. He eventually decides to leave, whether or not she will come with him.
If you want to listen to it, here's a youtube link to a version with lyrics:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sh0R3kZd6Mo

I'm really specific about things, so I only look up youtube videos with lyrics.

This song is how I feel. I want to leave, I want to get out of here, now, tonight. I feel like if I don't leave right now, or at least soon, that I will be swallowed by this town for the rest of my life. It's no secret to anyone that I don't belong here. My classmates make no secret of it, and neither does the rest of my family. I need to get out of here, to a big city, or at least one that's large enough so that no one even notices the fact that I'm a perpetual oddity.
To borrow a quote from the song itself, "before you swallow me into your perfect life, I'm not going down without a fight."
Because of these conditions, I don't fall in love easy. I don't stop being in love easy. I still talk to and somewhat have feelings for the first boy I ever kissed. In fact, I dated him three times over a period of four years. The irony of it? My friends joke around all the time about how unromantic and unsentimental I am. But really, I'm actually not.
My dream present is a bench wrapped in fairy lights. I have an entire collection of things that I've kept from ex-boyfriends, as well as a whole jar of things from my life that mean the world to me. I still have the first rose I was ever given by a boy. I know what my wedding dress is going to look like. My ideal date is just sitting in a dark corner, sharing secrets and thoughts about life, the quiet things that no one ever knows. I am very sensitive, I am very breakable, I am sentimental.
I don't belong here. These people will never understand me. College can't come fast enough. Get me a job, get me a car, get me a dorm, and get me out of this worthless place.

Top 5 of the Week

Sorry, it's been gone for a while, but now it has returned! My top 5 of the week...for this month. Haha. I've been super busy, I haven't even been posting my DIY projects. Shame on me, I know. I've been really busy with ex-boyfriend drama (he has decided to start doing drugs since our splitting...you see why this is a problem...and the worst part is, he still thinks he can give ME life advice...) and I haven't been wielding my camera as much as I should, as a result. Now that I have accepted the situation as it is, and that there is nothing I can do to change it, I might be able to recover. For the past few days, I've been listening to oldies music and snuggling with my sweetheart kitty, Nigel. I admit, I've also cried quite a bit, and Nigel is good for that too. His fur is so soft, it absorbs any amount of tears. Here's a picture of my darling.

Sorry, it's a wee bit dark.
 This week it's my top 5.....favorite oldies songs!!!

1. "Mrs Brown, You've Got a Lovely Daughter" Herman's Hermits
I just adore this singer's accent. And the song resonates well with me at the moment, even though I could scarcely refer to my ex as 'lovely.' I still miss him so much, just like Herman (probably not his real name, but work with me here) misses Mrs Brown's beautiful daughter.

2. "I Think I Love You" The Partridge Family
Who could hate the Partridges? I mean, really? They're just so absolutely adorable.

3. "The Girl that I Knew Somewhere" The Monkees
The classic story. Man meets girl. Man falls in love with girl. Man suspects girl is a player because she reminds him of his ex-girlfriend. Man leaves girl, but says something to the extent of "It's not you, it's me." I love it.

4. "Octopus's Garden" The Beatles
My favorite Beatles song. Ringo Starr's voice is perfect for it. I just wish he would sing it to me, but not in the same creepy way he sang "you're sixteen, you're beautiful, you're mine," when he was like, 30.

5. "If You Leave" OMD
I really love the 80s. Of course I had to have an 80s song in this countdown.

Drink Me.

This photo comes courtesy of some random Tumblr page...I don't know exactly which one, because I found it when I was just flicking through forever ago. I thought it was a good representation of how I feel today. I don't mean that as a negative thing...this is one of my favorite images, and has been saved on my computer for some time.

I just downloaded two remixes, three covers, and an acoustic version of Pumped Up Kicks. Yes, it is one of my favorite songs. I have season 1 of American Horror Story to thank for that one (namely, Tate Langdon). Nigel and Kirk were sent in to be declawed about a week or so ago, and because they're older cats, they're at higher risk of infection. Kirk has already gotten an infection, actually, and today Nigel chewed through the surgical glue keeping one of his incisions closed, so it may only be a matter of time for him. These cats, I swear.

Alas, I can not swim

Happy Easter everyone! I bet you were all looking forward to a lovely Easter pun in the title...haha, I can be tricky sometimes!
Back to school tomorrow. My last Spring Break is officially over. Sigh. I must venture onward, though.
This weekend was the weekend of Play Doh. I found a ton of it last night, and began shaping it. I made a black brooch shaped like a rose, and I've started on a second one with white Play Doh, and it will somehow turn into a magnificent gift for my friend Tinsley.
Here they are so far. Enjoy.

 Above: Just after birth, they lay fresh from the wombs of their containers. Unblemished, uncracked, smooth vessels of perfection. Yes, I am heavily caffeinated right now.

 After much drying, Tinsley's future present (Above) maintained shape, but is full of cracks. This is perfectly fine, because I can totally work with them.

My first, random black rose brooch. Notice the blue rhinestone which I added to the middle of it, and the detail work I carved into it. I don't expect it to be a serious piece of jewelry or anything, but hopefully it makes a good gift for someone's birthday (wink wink).

My tribute to Laura Marling

This is a quote from "Hope in the Air," aka my new favorite song:

Covered in Snow

There isn't any snow here...I've just spent my day listening to Laura Marling. Well, that and looking at 80s fashion on Etsy, as well as putting together a fashion wishlist. It's been good therapy. I've been sad again, over something worth crying over. Now that I've finished my steampunk journal, I'm looking into revamping an old suitcase of mine and possibly a messenger bag. I also would dearly love to find a pillbox. I found an amazing DIY I want to recreate on Cut Out and Keep. http://www.cutoutandkeep.net/projects/steampunkd-weekly-pillbox
It's something that makes me wish I was a druggie, if I could have a pillbox like that.
Another awesome DIY I found for making hinges/closures that looks not EASY, but doable. It involves a couple tin can lids and some scissors and a hole punch. Check it out, it looks awesome. http://www.cutoutandkeep.net/projects/a-hinge-turorial

This picture represents the last two days of my life. I think it's something worth crying over, no? But the death of one love opens up the door for another one to be born, does it not? Now that this is out of my system, I can concentrate on better things...like imagining England...covered in snow. And eating Mac N Cheese with garlic. :)

A little less Sixteen Candles, a little more steampunk

I saw Sixteen Candles for the first time a few days ago, and it was lovely. I love John Hughes's movies. Pretty in Pink is my absolute favorite. I have downloaded the soundtrack, and I dance to it in my living room.
So, I finished it! Finally! All of the pages are hand-dyed with coffee, and the cover was all done by me too. I hope you enjoy looking at it. It took ten days and nights of continuous work.

Where is my mind?

I woke up this morning, and took Kirk and Nigel in to get declawed. They won't be coming home for a day at least, maybe two, because they're big boys now, not tiny kittens with baby claws to lose. I think this is a good thing, because if I took them home and they began spontaneously bleeding, I would have no idea what to do.
I have no idea where I've been for the past few days. Well, physically, yes, I have been here, but mentally, not. Right now I'm starving, but I refuse to eat, because there's nothing appropriately healthy I could eat to cancel out the past two days of potato chips and grease. That's a general side effect of being depressed, I guess. Much food with little nutritional value. I've actually had a good reason to be melancholy, but sadly I am not permitted to share it here.
Last night, reduced to Fall Out Boy and other unhealthy ventures, I decided to just push past it as best as I could, and finish my journal, because my journal makes me happy. And I will fill my journal only with happy, positive thoughts. I feel the changing of tides. The storm is over, everything is calm. I can finally lay back, shut my tired eyes, and open them again in a hurry so that I don't miss the final season of Eureka. It premieres in couple weeks, and I've been watching the episodes I've gotten ondemand! I'm so stoked to see what happens!
Also, I was on Twitter earlier today, and I saw that they just started production of season 3 of Haven. Thank God, because they left off last season at a real cliffhanger. I NEED to find out if Nathan really killed Duke, and where the hell is Audrey??? Sigh. More to come. For now, take a peek at my earring collection. Isn't it lovely? I've never been so organized with them. Ever.

I've been typing this post for at least ten minutes, and Sea of Ghosts still isn't loaded. Jesus, that site.

The opposite of Congress is progress, Part 2

I've already apologized for the pathetic pun of a title, so I'm not going to do that again. Tonight is one of those weird nights where nothing is going right, and Fall Out Boy seems like decent music and voting for Elvis for president seems like a logical life decision. One of those. Sigh.
I finished the base of my cover and bound all of my pages together. I still have to do more on the cover, but I don't think that's an appropriate activity to engage in while humming Sugar We're Going Down.

 One of my friends used to have a stepfather (may he rest in peace) who worked in packing, and he gave her some cardboard colored packing tape that is fortified with fiber glass. I used it to cover the entire cover, and then I used Mod Podge to put tissue paper over the tape. I only put the Mod Podge on the bottom of the tissue paper, which was white, and then I used coffee to stain it brown, and then after that, I put another layer of Mod Podge over it so that it wouldn't get damaged.

Isn't it lovely? I've never worked so hard on any DIY before. I can't wait to see how it ultimately turns out.