Thursday, May 3, 2012


Today, again, a man let me down. This time, however, I don't believe it was his fault, nor the fault of his gender. While getting together with an old friend, I was faced with the reality that I no longer have any place in his life. I am an anachronism, a part of the past which should remain in the past, along with all of my nonsensical musings and his teasings of asking "How does your garden grow?"
But since returning home, I've been wondering the answer to that question. Not just because I went through a rash of teasings centered around "mistress Mari, quite contrary," but because I haven't felt much like blossoming in the past few weeks. How does my garden grow? Where have all of my flowers gone? Why did the sunshine fade away?
More so, why so many weeds have to grow between people? Why must there constantly be things keeping us apart?
My idols are dead and my enemies are in power. It's a quote from Dangerous Minds, I looked it up. This is the state of mind I constantly feel like I'm in. Especially living in a town like this, where there aren't a lot of flowers in my garden, so very few people nestled in my aching, bloody heart.
As if the sky itself felt pity for me, it immediately began to rain as I arrived home. Nothing more precious, no more of a saving grace could have revived me so. I took pictures out of my windows, just so that I could share the beauty of my sanctuary with you.
 Raindrops dancing with the lilac bush....
 clinging to the windows....
and hiding behind the curtains.
The rain will always save me, and bring me back from whatever peril.Without it, I would not live.
My wanderlust consumes me now. I want to see the rain from every point of view. Is the rain in Istanbul any different than rain in Portugal? Someday I will have seen the rain from every view, in every country in the world. Until then, until then....

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