Problems and Bigger Ones

College. I'm scared. Honestly I am. I don't have a job or a plan, and at the moment I have zero scholarship opportunities. I don't even think I have time to still apply for financial aid. I'm going to a community college for my first year, which is only five thousand per semester, so I'm not in as dire of straits as I would be had I chosen to go straight to university, but still. So much debt. It's daunting. I literally feel sick to my stomach when I think of it. After my first year, I have plans to transfer to a much much more expensive college out of state, and that's even more stressful. But that's a more than a year from now, and I have more important things to think of now.

 Passing high school without any classes wreaking havoc on my grade, for one. I took a test in AP Literature that I didn't do that well on. It was on Philosophy, and I guessed the answers of no less than half of the questions. Hopefully my grade will still be above C level. I have the stresses of family to deal with. My mother will not be proud or approve of anything less than an A. My current B- is disappointing because she knows that I can do better. Even though my teacher for AP Literature grades objectively, not entirely honestly. But, then again, a lot of teachers do that, don't they? I don't know why I see it as such an atrocity. People are human, indulge their own biases, and the like. I'm sure if I was a teacher, I would subconsciously do the same.
I just really have to ace every test and quiz from now on. Even the tiny, minuscule, ten point ones. 

I've been sitting on my bum in front of this computer screen all day. My neck has a crick and my cat has stolen my pillow. I have neither showered nor gotten dressed. Now that I have run out of interesting things to say, I bid you Goodnight.

--Mari.